


if i break my heart around this

by catastropheprone



Category: RuPaul's Drag Race RPF
Genre: Angst, Car Accidents, Death, F/F, Grief, Lesbian AU, Songfic, burn your life down by bleachers, but its a cover of a tegan and sara song, car crash, had to do it to em, im sorry crystal, its fucking sad, its pretty sad yall, nicky has no idea what to do, poor gigi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-27
Updated: 2020-04-27
Packaged: 2021-03-02 04:15:20
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 612
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23879008
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/catastropheprone/pseuds/catastropheprone
Summary: gigi can't function. getting out of bed doesn't matter. nicky tries her best to help, but it's hopeless.crystal is gone. and soon enough, gigi will be too.
Relationships: Crystal Methyd/Gigi Goode, Gigi Goode/Crystal Methyd
Comments: 4
Kudos: 35





	if i break my heart around this

Nicky can't remember the last time she saw a smile on Gigi Goode's face. She doubts there ever will be one again. She fears Gigi's going to slip away, and she knows it's inevitable, but what more can she do than watch? Gigi keeps pushing her away, leaving herself to lay in bed and stare at the ceiling all day as tears fall down the sides of her face. It's like she's hoping for her to come back, even though she knows that's impossible.

Because _she's_ gone.

The day they had gotten the news that Crystal was in the hospital, Nicky remembered Gigi thrashing about on the floor of her bedroom, wailing and screaming her lungs out. They drove to the hospital immediately after, almost getting a ticket along the way. But Gigi was nauseous the whole ride. She couldn't bear being in another car again. And then, when they had finally gotten to the hospital, they weren't allowed in yet. Gigi sat in the waiting room in Nicky's arms for the next six hours, crying until her voice went hoarse.

Once they were cleared for entering and seeing Crystal, they didn't waste any time. They stepped into the room and saw the red-haired girl lying there in the bed, unconscious. There were bruises and gashes all over her body. Scrapes and burns adorned her frame, and just when Gigi thought she couldn't cry any more tears, they started streaming down again. Nicky tried her best to console the broken girl, but the reality was that she wasn't as broken as the victim in front of them.

She was unconscious for a couple of days. The 24-hour periods felt like years upon years of waiting for her to wake up. For her to get better. But the next Sunday, the complete opposite had happened. Gigi begged and pleaded for them to keep her on life support, for them to do whatever they could. But it was useless. Crystal was long gone. It broke her, even more, when they asked her if she wanted Crystal's wedding ring, as it had survived in the crash. But Gigi said no, to keep it on Crystal's finger, a gentle reminder that Crystal would forever be hers. What would she do with the band had they given it back to her? Gigi wouldn't marry again. No one else was Crystal.

The bright-eyed, wide-smiled girl turned into nothing but a meaningless corpse in a field filled with even more lost souls and bodies about two weeks later. It was a family-only event, because Gigi couldn't bear the looks on their friend's faces when they'd say goodbye to Crystal.

God, even the word "their" gave Gigi a distaste on her tongue.

She already missed Crystal's morning kisses and cuddles. Her cheesy jokes and puns she'd recite throughout the day. The way she knew how to make something feel better with just being there. The way her tan skin looked in the moonlight, the light only accentuating her perfections. Imperfections? Gigi couldn't think of any.

Crystal felt like someone Gigi knew without knowing. She felt her in her heart, without having the slightest idea of her. She didn't want to say goodbye. They had so much to go through together. Having family, pets, graduations, weddings...They were all gone. There was no way Gigi would bring that back without Crystal.

Nicky tried her best to get Gigi out of bed. Out of the door. But helping her try to restart her life was useless because Nicky would never understand. It's an emotion and experience she'll never feel or go through. 

She could only watch as Gigi burned her life down.


End file.
